Drunken guy: oh hi.
Me: (ignoring him on my phone)
Drunken guy: What did we do before phones, right? No one had little buttons to push. (Looks over my shoulder) What are you doing, Facebook?
Me: (polite but awkward laugh that says leave me alone)
Drunken guy: You are out late, huh?
Me: No, up early. We're waiting for an audition.
Drunken guy: Well you are going to book the job for sure. You want a coffee? I'm buying.
Me: No thanks.
A girl waiting next to me had a Tinkerbell bag. A homeless woman approaches her.
Homeless woman: Woohoo! That is a great bag!
Girl: Oh, thanks. It was a gift.
Homeless woman: (Bending down closer) What is she? She got wings?
Girl: It's Tinkerbell.
Homeless woman: That b&*$h stole my wings! (Gets in her face) Give me back my mother*$#@ing wings!! (slowly saunters away)
And my personal favorite.
Homeless man: B&%$h, why your feet wrapped up like that?
Me: (ignoring him)
Homeless man: Look at me!!
Me: (Looks up)
Homeless man: Those are some crazy feet. Why are they wrapped up like that? Walks away, muttering to himself about my feet. (photo of the foot "wrapping" below)