Natalie Bird
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Natalie's writing has been featured on the stage in Lexington, Cincinnati, and New York City, and on the web, including the original series Dominatrix Breakroom. She likes cats, books and chocolate, not necessarily in that order.

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Eight toys I wanted as a child, but never received. 

4/12/2013

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As a child, I was very...VERY. I had a shocking amount of empathy. I cried when I learned Abraham Lincoln would not receive the birthday card I made for him because he was deceased. I also cried on our trip to Disneyworld when I told the "Blue" girl she was my favorite and saw the "Yellow" girl had overheard. ("Yellow" attempted to console me by telling me "Blue" was her favorite as well) So it should come as no surprise that I didn't want to hinder Santa's creativity by telling him what I wanted for Christmas. I would always write on my wish list "A surprise". "Santa" overheard me telling some things I wanted to my American Girl doll Molly (whom I thought was alive) or followed my passive-aggressive habit of circling things I liked in catalogues. But these eight items just weren't picked up on. 



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Item number one: Get In Shape, Girl! Now, what 5 year old doesn't need ripped abs? I envisioned myself wearing my LA Gears, and sweatin' up a storm. Alas, I was stuck to ballet for my fitness routine. 

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The Snoopy Sno-Cone machine. I could make frosty treats for everyone in my family! (Including Molly) I actually received this as a gift as an adult, but have never used it. 5 year old me would be very disappointed. 

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Ah, baking cakes in a microwave. With the Easy Bake Oven, dessert would have been a snap. This gift is complicated, because as an 8 year old, I was cast as the face of the Easy Bake Oven.  When I  showed up to the shoot the conversation went something like this:

Photographer: Hi, Natalie!
Me: Hi! (smiles, showing missing front tooth)
Photographer: Oh, no, we can't use her with a missing tooth. Here, Natalie, have a cookie before you go!

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A Jem Doll. She was, after all, Truly Outrageous. (Or, as I thought she sang "Toodly Opageous") Though I was a Barbie girl through and through, I sure did want that Rock Star doll with her awesome pink hair. 

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I may have been one of the only little girls in the 80's without Jellies. Those little plastic shoes were in the forefront of all my fashion fantasies. 

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Why I wanted a doll that pooped, I'll never know. I guess I thought I needed a dose of reality in my playtime. 

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Sure, my Barbies had a mansion and a Cadillac, but they were seriously lacking in summer recreational activities. 

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In hind sight, I see this doll is really creepy looking. But I was a big fan of the movie, and was pretty sure I needed one of those magical weirdos.  

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